


Untitled

by lincesque



Category: Shin Sangokumusou | Dynasty Warriors
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-21
Updated: 2010-03-21
Packaged: 2017-10-19 10:25:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/199823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lincesque/pseuds/lincesque
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Han Dynasty is failing. In these times of upheaval and unrest, who can tell the difference between destiny and fate? Perhaps they were meant to end this way from that first glance. When the first step of a journey also marks its end and tomorrow is merely just a word, what is there left to hope for?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Untitled

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sienna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sienna/gifts).



> The starting [N.] is taken from Jason Zhang/Zhang Jie/张杰's song, Journey/征途. The lyrics are translated by me and heavy romanticized. However, I'm hoping that they retain the general feel/idea of the original lyrics [which can be found in its original Chinese form [here](http://www.ailrc.com/COGWGPH.html)~] The song can be found [here](http://www.4shared.com/audio/DgmuCX8k/__online.html).
> 
> For **Desu**. Happy ~~belated~~ birthday ♥~
> 
> And **Jo** , my long suffering, much overworked beta. Thank you so much ♥ Without you, this would've been nothing <3

**Untitled**  
\- _Time Unerased_ -

 **N.**

 _Betwixt heaven and earth, which way lies the battlefield? Which way lies home?_

 _Under the endless sky, there will always be change; who can balance the injustice of man?_

 _When the wind shifts, cherry blossoms fill the sky; whose fingers stroke the still strings of a solitary qin?_

 _Fans whirling in dance echo the sword within the shadow; is this the sign of an endless journey?_

 _Thousand year cycles, repeating that one poem; will our names be written on the chronicles of time?_

 _The rising and setting moon are history, and all those emotions for you will forever be etched in my heart._

  
 **I.**

The moon was just the barest curve of light in midnight black.

Zhou Yu stood near a small fish pond in the elaborate courtyard, head tilted upwards, observing the night sky. A shift of the wind blew several strands of his inky black hair across one pale cheek.

He didn’t move at the sound of quiet footsteps behind him until a voice interrupted his quiet contemplation.

“Lord Zhou Yu.”

Zhou Yu turned to look at the man bowed respectfully, eyes lowered. It was one of the soldiers who had dispatched to gather intelligence from areas outside their army's immediate influence.

With a gesture, he motioned for the man to rise. “Any news?”

“Chancellor Kong Rong has broken the siege at Duchang.”

Zhou Yu straightened at the information, fixing his gaze directly on the man before him. “Go on.”

The man bowed once more in acquiescence. “As you predicted, my lord, the Chancellor’s supplies ran low. According to inside sources, a general serving under Lord Kong Rong rode out with a small escort, breaking through the enemy lines. They brought back thousands of reinforcement troops from Liu Bei of Pingyang and successfully broke the siege.”

Zhou Yu’s brow furrowed slightly as he took in these details. “Just one general?”

“Yes, my lord.”

Zhou Yu allowed his interest to show. “Do we know who he is?”

“Taishi Ci of Donglai.”

  
 **II.**

The territories of Wu were shaping up to be among Zhou Yu's easiest conquests in reclaiming the lands that rightfully belonged to his sworn brother and childhood friend, Sun Ce.

Liu Yao had put up much less resistance than either Zhou Yu or Sun Ce had expected for someone with the man's local reputation for military leadership and capability in the art of war. The skirmishes against him so far had been less than challenging.

“Ahhhh! This campaign is a complete waste of time!” Sun Ce complained, shifting restlessly in his saddle. They were returning from a quiet survey of the terrain and outer defences, both of which strongly favoured Sun Ce's forces. “He should just surrender.”

Although agreeing wholeheartedly, Zhou Yu kept his silence, merely raising an eyebrow at his long time friend as they rode at a slow trot through the grassy plains of Shenting.

Their main camp was pitched several scarce miles out from Liu Yao's main stronghold, yet still only thirteen other officers rode with them through the heart of enemy territory.

Already known far and wide as the Little Conqueror, Sun Ce nudged his mount over with a somewhat wistful expression. “Gongjin, do you think there’s someone who can give me a proper fight?”

It made Zhou Yu laugh softly. “Bofu, there’s always someone out there who will surpass you. You just need to keep looking.” He was about to add something else when a small billow of dust in the distance caught his attention, materialising as it drew nearer into the officer sent ahead to scout for ambushes.

“What is it?” Zhou Yu asked the man, brows drawn. The officer’s horse was sweating profusely, flanks heaving, having obviously been rushed back.

The man bowed perfunctorily in his saddle before gesturing in the direction from which he had come. “My lords, an unidentified rider is on the approach with an escort. They bear the colours of Liu Yao.”

The other officers muttered quietly amongst themselves, their eyes on Zhou Yu and Sun Ce.

Sun Ce looked over at his childhood friend and strategic advisor. “Gongjin?”

Zhou Yu remained calm, considering and rejecting possible situations. “There were no sign of other enemy troops in the surrounding area?”

The scout shook his head. “None at all, Lord Zhou Yu. There’s nowhere for them to hide on a plain this flat.”

Zhou Yu looked back at Sun Ce. “Then Bofu, I suggest we greet this lone rider. He may provide us with some useful information.”

The answering grin was as bright as the sun. “Ah Gongjin, you read my mind.”

  
 **III.**

The rider's black steed was an exceedingly fine mount with well-proportioned hindquarters, ample power and a fiery spirit made clear by the restless tosses of its black mane.

That fact, coupled with the silver glint of a well-oiled blade told Zhou Yu immediately that this man was no one ordinary.

They were still too far off to see his expression and if it bore any surprise at their presence, but Zhou Yu could bet it did not.

Indeed, the stranger rode closer without hesitation and when the black mount stopped barely twenty meters out, Zhou Yu saw the quiet air of confidence that surrounded its rider.

He noted the clean cut features and lack of arrogance in his demeanour, and also saw the way the man catalogued them, taking in the Sun insignia embroidered on their coats and the protective way the officers surrounded Sun Ce’s mount.

Clearly, the stranger knew exactly who they were and what they were doing there. And Zhou Yu didn't miss the excitement that lit up Sun Ce's features either. “Bofu," he cautioned. "Be careful. I feel that this is not someone to be taken lightly.”

Sun Ce turned with a grin, teeth bared and the eagerness to fight almost illuminating him from within. “You worry too much, Gongjin. This is going to be fun.”

“Which one of you is Sun Ce?” the stranger demanded. His voice matched his bearing; leaning toward baritone, infused with calm anticipation.

Nudging his steed forward, Sun Ce faced the other directly, his drawl arrogant and confident. “That would be me. Do you challenge me?”

Calculating eyes assessed Sun Ce and the riders at the Little Conqueror’s back. “Yes," the stranger said, face serious. "And your officers as well.”

The bold proclamation made Sun Ce laugh. Pointing his spear at the other man, he grinned. “I like you.”

Zhou Yu frowned slightly. There was no boasting in the stranger’s tone or actions, no exaggerated sense of self-worth. Uncomfortably, Zhou Yu realized that the other man was fully prepared to take on all fifteen Sun officers. And expected to come out on top.

Unease coiled in his mind and he kicked his white mount forward until it was level with Sun Ce’s once more. “Bofu…”

Sun Ce only laughed. “I told you not to worry, Gongjin. Stay behind and enjoy the show.”

The stranger’s eyes lingered on Zhou Yu curiously for a moment before he turned back to Sun Ce and brought both hands up, right covering left in a fisted salute. “I am Taishi Ci of Donglai. Remember my name!”

Zhou Yu froze. He knew this name…

Irreverent, Sun Ce motioned Zhou Yu back. His expression was cheerful as he faced the man before him and swung his spear out to the ready. “Forget about my men. If you beat me, then I’m not fit for the title of the Little Conqueror.”

Ignoring the protests of the officers behind him, he charged.

  
 **IV.**

“Gongjin, Taishi Ci is a worthy foe indeed!”

Smile bright despite the extent of his injuries, Sun Ce reached out a hand almost reverently to touch the bow he had snatched from his opponent’s mount when they had both tumbled from their horses.

Zhou Yu sighed and bade the doctor retreat for the moment. The worst of Sun Ce's wounds had been disinfected and bandaged up, but the disquiet that had plagued Zhou Yu since the encounter with Taishi Ci hadn’t lessened any.

The two men had duelaled for almost two hours, neither giving an inch. There were few people who could fight on par with the Little Conqueror. Murmurs from the observing officers had begun at Taishi Ci's easy block of Sun Ce’s first charge, and lasted the fight's entire duration. Taishi Ci was a general who definitely lived up to his fearsome reputation.

Bringing himself back to the present, Zhou Yu shook his head. “That was a stupid thing to do, Bofu,” he reprimanded firmly, pulling the stray edge of a bandage a little tighter than necessary.

Sun Ce didn't wince, merely sitting up straight, a hand still on the bow at his bedside. “Gongjin, don’t you think he would be an even more worthy general under my banner?”

Zhou Yu stared, having not yet considered the possibility. But it made a lot of sense. Liu Yao could not be a very intelligent commander based on the fact alone that neither Zhou Yu nor Sun Ce had run into Taishi Ci at any previous battles.

The indistinct unease eating away at Zhou Yu lessened somewhat. He smiled gently, meeting the eyes of his sworn brother and best friend. “Of course.”

  
 **V.**

“You may go.” Zhou Yu’s dismissal towards the officer was curt, an unusual outward display of irritation.

“Ah~ Gongjin, what’s got you so worked up?” Sun Ce cracked open an eye, shifting where he had sprawled atop the cushions on the floor of Zhou Yu’s private study to nap.

Zhou Yu kept his back to his friend, staring at a map of the Wu territories hung on the wall. His silence was even more unusual.

Sun Ce sat up, completely awake now. “Gongjin?”

“He’s taken Dangyang.”

There was no need to ask who. It certainly wasn’t Liu Yao.

Sun Ce gave a low whistle. “Impressive.”

Zhou Yu turned, expression impatient. “That’s an area of strategic importance, Bofu. He needs to be dealt with now, before he becomes even more of a threat to us.”

Despite his general air of artlessness and penchant for sleeping through military briefings, Sun Ce never failed to heed the advice of his best military advisor. He summoned in an officer standing outside immediately. “Inform all of my generals: tomorrow we ride to Dangyang and put down Taishi Ci’s resistance.”

  
 **VI.**

He stood in the middle of the hastily erected pavilion, chin raised but eyes lowered.

Sun Ce lounged in the solitary chair on the dais, Zhou Yu standing beside him. Both watched the man before them.

“Kneel!” The two guards who had brought the captive in shoved him forward and he stumbled slightly, unable to keep proper balance with his hands bound.

Zhou Yu prepared to call the soldiers off, but Sun Ce acted first: “Stop!”

He stood, a scowl marring his normally sunny expression. Both guards stilled and turned to their lord.

Sun Ce gave them a pointed look. “Taishi Ci may have been our enemy, but he is not a prisoner here. Release him.”

The pair exchanged a glance before turning back to Sun Ce, protest written all over their features.

Zhou Yu took the chance to step in. “You may leave now. We’ll deal with this ourselves.”

At his words, neither felt able to argue any longer. Bowing silently, they backed out of the tent.

Zhou Yu watched them go with a small frown but shook his head at Sun Ce’s questioning look. He approached their captive instead.

Taishi Ci remained stubbornly standing, eyes still lowered and expression undecipherable. He refused to look up, even with Zhou Yu directly before him. “I lost. You may do with me as you wish.”

Sun Ce bounded off the raised platform then, to join his best friend shoulder to shoulder. His smile was back in place as he looked at the man before them. “I wish for you to join me.”

Taishi Ci straightened in surprise, eyes briefly meeting Sun Ce’s before lowering again. The uncertainty surrounding him was almost palpable to Zhou Yu. Reaching out, he touched the man’s elbow gently. “Bofu never says anything he doesn’t mean.” Encouraged when Taishi Ci met his gaze, Zhou Yu continued with a wry smile, “...despite how I wish it weren't so at times. But I do agree with him on this matter.”

The look in Taishi Ci’s hazel eyes was still unclear, but definitely seemed more receptive.

“Ziyi, your previous lords were foolish for not recognizing your talents," Sun Ce said, unbinding Taishi Ci’s hands as he spoke. He stepped back as the rough rope slid to the ground. "Join me. I would be honoured to fight with you by my side.”

Taishi Ci’s gaze flickered toward Zhou Yu as if seeking confirmation. Though surprised, Zhou Yu managed a calm smile and small nod.

He was answered by the barest hint of a curve on those lips before Taishi Ci knelt before Sun Ce and bowed his head, hands clasped in salutation. “Then I, Taishi Ziyi, swear allegiance to Wu and vow to serve the Sun family for as long as I may live.”

  
 **VII.**

His days and nights were getting busier. It was a rarity nowadays for Zhou Yu to return to his room from his private study before the moon hung high in the sky. Though the idea of duly making Sun Ce do his own share of the work occasionally appealed itself, Zhou Yu still shuddered recalling the last time he had forced his childhood friend into such things. Sun Ce was a brilliant military commander, but his patience for paperwork was next to zero.

Sighing inwardly as he finished another round of reports, Zhou Yu moved them over to the sizable pile on his right. Eyeing the yet-unfinished stack still to his left, he grimaced and decided to take a quick break, gathering up the bamboo scrolls that had been reviewed and stamped so far.

Stepping outside, Zhou Yu's eyes fluttered briefly in bliss. The cool night air around him as he walked was heaven compared to the stuffy, book-filled room he had just sat in for the past six or so hours...

“Viceroy.”

The low voice startled Zhou Yu into a misstep on the uneven ground. Several scrolls tumbled from his grasp, but a pair of warm hands suddenly on his shoulders allowed him to keep his balance. Those same hands soon moved to gather up his fallen effects.

It was Taishi Ci who straightened before him, the moonlight illuminating an apologetic expression on his normally composed features. “I’m sorry for startling you, my lord.”

Zhou Yu blinked before giving a gentle smile. “General Taishi? What are you doing out so late?”

Taishi Ci bowed shallowly. He was dressed in a simple robe, completely different to the armour and elaborate court outfits he was usually seen in. “I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I would take a walk. Are you taking these anywhere in particular, my lord?” He lifted one of the scrolls he still held.

Himself now carrying few enough scrolls to shuffle into the crook of one arm, Zhou Yu brushed a stray strand of hair from his face. “I just need to get them to the briefing room. They'll be needed tomorrow morning's meeting.”

No sooner had he finished speaking than Taishi Ci plucked the remaining scrolls from his grasp. “Please allow me to assist then, Viceroy.”

At the incongruity of Taishi Ci's overly polite tone, Zhou Yu said, “There’s no need to be so formal. Just 'Gongjin' would do.” The taller man opened his mouth but Zhou Yu pre-empted his protest with another of his gentle smiles, tilting his head. “And in exchange, may I use 'Ziyi'?”

Taishi Ci looked at Zhou Yu for a moment, eyes widening as the words sunk in before an answering smile edged his lips upwards. “Of course… Gongjin.”

  
 **VIII.**

The horses' clopping hooves were muffled on the soft dirt road as the sun set slowly ahead. Two men rode out under its brilliant glare and lengthening shadows.

“The court officials weren’t very happy with Lord Sun Ce’s decision,” Taishi Ci commented, offhand as he guided his horse around a fallen branch. The plume on his helmet bobbed with the canter of his mount.

Zhou Yu shook his head, remembering the outcry over the issue the day before. Sun Ce had chosen to let Taishi Ci travel back to the mountainous areas of Jing County in order to collect his remnant troops. ‘Not very happy’ was a nice way of putting it. “They’re never happy,” Zhou Yu said, eyeing his companion’s emotionless façade. “Don’t worry too much about it, Ziyi.”

Taishi Ci's lips quirked humourlessly. “Ah. You’re one of the few who thinks that I will return.”

With the extra stress on the word ‘few’, Zhou Yu knew that Taishi Ci, too, had overheard some of the less-than-polite comments from a number of Wu's serving generals. Straight-laced and honour-bound, Taishi Ci had clearly been more bothered by the slander than he let on.

With a rare frown, Zhou Yu almost reached out a hand to touch the other man’s shoulder but stopped short. “It isn't like that...” Seeing Taishi Ci's expression remain unchanged, Zhou Yu sighed softly. “I trust you, Ziyi. Both Bofu and I know that you honour every promise you make, and that is one of the reasons he let you go so willingly. You are equal to any other officer of Wu, a fact they will all come to realise once you’ve been with us a little longer.”

Taishi Ci's surprised glance might have been missed had Zhou Yu not been monitoring him out of the corner of his eye. But then for the first time since the night he had requested to make this journey, Taishi Ci smiled. It was a real smile, broad and unfettered, crinkling his eyes; and Zhou Yu smiled in return, glad the other had broken out of the clouded melancholy plaguing him.

Straightening atop his black mount, Taishi Ci squared his shoulders proudly. “I will not let Lord Sun Ce down.”

At the words, Zhou Yu's smile faltered, an odd pain lancing through his chest. His frown returned as he ghosted a hand over his left side, finding it odd that such sincerity could hurt quite so much.

Taishi Ci didn't notice anything amiss, urging his mount ahead. Turning in his saddle to face Zhou Yu, face in shadow and brilliantly backlit by the setting sun, his words were soft in the cool dusk air: “And, of course, I will never misplace your trust.”

Zhou Yu coveted very few things in life, but at that moment he wanted nothing more than to see the expression Taishi Ci directed towards him.

  
 **IX.**

The first arrow sat against the bow, drawn tight, held steady for a long moment before its release.

It sank effortlessly into the bullseye of its target.

Zhou Yu leaned against a pole off to the side of the range as he watched, admiring the smooth motions of the archer and the play of light on the copper-tipped bolts as they flew under the glaring midday sun.

Less than a minute later, over a dozen shafts decorated the small red dot in the middle of the straw target.

“Ziyi, your marksmanship is incredible,” Zhou Yu said, offering with a smile a fresh lot of arrows from the collection near his feet as Taishi Ci walked over.

Taishi Ci returned the smile, nodding his thanks as he exchanged his empty quiver for Zhou Yu's full one, and wiped the sweat from his brow. “You flatter me, Gongjin. There are many better than me out there. I can only practice and hope to one day equal them.”

Zhou Yu barely heard the words, watching another trickle of sweat run down Taishi Ci’s temple. It curved down his strong jaw and dipped into the hollow of his throat, disappearing into the loose folds of his simple robe. Zhou Yu swallowed and pursed his lips, wondering why on earth he had thought it prudent to wear more than one layer on such a warm day.

A large hand waved in front of his face then, and Zhou Yu looked up to see Taishi Ci peering closely at him in concern.

“Are you alright? You look a bit red, Gongjin.” Taishi Ci’s frown creased his brow and Zhou Yu had to stop himself from reaching out to smooth it away until Taishi Ci bent over to retrieve a water bottle from a small pile of his things on the ground. He picked it up by the strings tied around its neck and uncorked it, offering the drink to Zhou Yu with a small smile, still concerned. “You should take your own words to heart and take better care of yourself.”

Nodding his thanks, Zhou Yu tipped the bottle back and took a long swig, eyes closing briefly in pleasure at the taste of the cool, sweet liquid.

Looking up again, he found Taishi Ci staring at him, a strange expression on his face.

Zhou Yu raised a brow. “Is something wrong?”

The question brought Taishi Ci back to himself and he quickly averted his eyes, re-corking the bottle Zhou Yu returned him. “No, I was just thinking about something.”

Dropping the bottle back to the ground, Taishi Ci took up his bow and quiver once again and strode briskly back out to the range, obviously hoping to avoid any questions Zhou Yu may have had.

Lightly exasperated, Zhou Yu shook his head and leaned back against the post, contenting himself to just watch.

  
 **X.**

“Ziyi, that isn't your bow, is it?”

Taishi Ci glanced up from carefully restringing his weapon to blink at Zhou Yu seated across from him. “It isn’t. I borrowed it from the armoury.”

Zhou Yu smiled, ostentatiously returning his attention to polishing the blade in his lap, checking for chips in the metal. He answered the unasked 'why' hanging in the air. “It doesn't look like something you would carry by choice.”

A wry look answered him. “Really now? What tipped you off, the gold plating or the sapphires set into the arch?”

Zhou Yu laughed softly, setting his weapon aside in favour of watching Taishi Ci work. His eyes lingered over the other’s hands and their gentle caress of the bow, noting how it bent with ease as he deftly tied the string. “Bofu’s tastes usually run to either ostentatious or deadly. Occasionally both.”

Taishi Ci hefted the restrung bow, thoughtful. “It is a good bow. Pity about the appearance and the pull.”

Zhou Yu eyed the relatively large weapon with speculation. “Too heavy?”

This startled a laugh out of his companion. Taishi Ci shook his head. “Too light. I could only hit targets within a hundred and twenty paces or so with a bow like this.”

As if in demonstration, he raised the bow, arm outstretched, and drew the string to his jaw without effort. The reverberations when he let go thrummed gently around the small room.

Standing, Zhou Yu stepped over and took the bow from the taller man’s hand, making his own attempt to draw it. He got barely halfway before his bicep and forearm started protesting under the strain. But before he could back down, a strong presence stepped up behind him and warm hands covered his, helping him complete the draw and keep it steady.

Zhou Yu tilted his head up and back, trying to keep his smile even and not let show just how his heart was racing. “It’s quite a hard draw,” he murmured softly.

Taishi Ci’s laughter was a gentle rumble in his chest that Zhou Yu could feel against his back. “Only because you’re not used to it, Gongjin. The same way my swordsmanship is never on par with yours.” He guided Zhou Yu’s hands together again, loosening the string's tension slowly before stepping back. He tried to take the bow with him but Zhou Yu held onto it.

“Let me keep this for a while," Zhou Yu said, trying his best to keep his serene façade and not think about how much he had liked Taishi Ci's warmth at his back. "I’ll see if I can find you one more fitting.”

Taishi Ci's answering smile was slow and soft, and made Zhou Yu miss the warmth just a little less. “Thank you, Gongjin.”

  
 **XI.**

Even after years on the battlefield, Zhou Yu had never gotten used to the bloodshed and brutality.

He stared down at his guqin, not quite seeing the strings that quivered under his fingers, tone fretful, agitated and ill at ease, reflecting his current mood.

Strands of long hair whipped over his cheek from a sudden harsh gust of wind that billowed through. Combined with the music from his qin, it almost hid the sound of approaching footsteps.

His strings stilled immediately.

“Who is it?”

Zhou Yu didn’t care that his tone was sharp. At present he wanted only his privacy.

The footsteps slowed, hesitating before taking a few steps closer. “Gongjin.”

Zhou Yu’s head rose slowly, face passive. But it was Taishi Ci who stood just short of the pavilion steps. “...Ziyi.” The name was a sigh, a release of his resentment at being interrupted.

Taishi Ci took it as the welcome it was supposed to be, taking a couple of cautious steps into the pavilion proper and settling on a stone seat opposite Zhou Yu’s ornamental qin table. His smile was strained, eyes shadowed. “Can’t sleep either?”

Zhou Yu had long since spent enough time in company with Taishi Ci to read him relatively easily when his guard was down—as it was currently. The stiffness in other man’s demeanour, the clenched fists and tight lines around his lips told Zhou Yu all he needed to know.

It hadn’t been an easy battle for Wu. A good half of the Wei army had been new conscripts, drawn from recently conquered villages. Many of them had been no more than children. Not even the considerable battle experience of one such as Taishi Ci could make it any easier to cut down mere children.

“War is cruel.”

Taishi Ci didn’t respond, merely staring at the instrument on the table before him.

Running his fingers over the strings once more, Zhou Yu let a waterfall of notes cascade over them both for a moment. Seeing the tightness ease slightly in his companion, he set his fingers to the strings again with the most soothing and gentle pieces from his considerable repertoire. He kept an eye on Taishi Ci as he played, relieved to see the music slowly helping the other unwind from his disquiet. And it was with surprise that Zhou Yu found his own agitation ease as well.

He might have kept playing indefinitely if Taishi Ci hadn't leaned in, his large hands suddenly catching Zhou Yu’s in their grasp.

“Ziyi?" Zhou Yu frowned lightly. "What are you…”

Taishi Ci turned Zhou Yu’s hands over as a little moonlight broke through the clouds above, and it was only then that Zhou Yu noticed the small, dark splatters on the white of his strings. He looked blankly at his hands and realized he had managed to cut the pad of a finger while playing. It was an amateur mistake, one he hadn't made for decades.

He smiled self-depreciatingly as his finger started throbbing now that his mind was no longer preoccupied, noting that he must have nicked a vein for the blood flowed slow but continuous.

“You should take better care of yourself, Gongjin,” Taishi Ci reprimanded softly, still holding Zhou Yu’s wrist gently in his hand as he stared at the injury with unreadable eyes.

Zhou Yu looked up at him, offering a small but genuine smile at the concern. “I’m…”

The reassurance died on his lips as Taishi Ci lowered his head and took Zhou Yu's finger into his mouth, swiping his tongue over the small cut.

Zhou Yu’s eyes widened staring at the dark head bent over his hand. His heart thudded heavily against his chest. “Ziyi…!”

Taishi Ci let go immediately, backing away head bowed and expression hidden. “I'm sorry, Gongjin. I…”

Trying to calm himself, Zhou Yu waved his uninjured hand dismissively and cradled his other to his chest. “You don’t need to apologize.” He took a deep breath and exhaled softly, wondering how to diffuse the awkwardness in the air.

At length he straightened, voice soft and apologetic as he set his qin to the side. “I’m sorry for worrying you.” He paused, allowing a little hope into his voice. “Would you like to have a drink with me?”

Eyes still lowered, Taishi Ci nevertheless sat back down, albeit a safe distance away.

Sighing inwardly again, though this time from a mild pang of disappointment, Zhou Yu reached for the wine bottle next to the small cups sitting on the table—just as Taishi Ci did the same.

Their hands touched, eyes meeting briefly, both hesitating until Zhou Yu’s smile and soft laugh rolled through the pavilion, joined a moment later by Taishi Ci’s lower chuckle.

Zhou Yu didn’t know why he found the laughter fitting, but it seemed so when Taishi Ci was there with him.

Somehow, that was all that mattered in that brief moment.

  
 **XII.**

Zhou Yu stared at the bow on the wall. It hung alone but was not merely decorative, lacking any elaborate carving and ornamentation. Despite archery not being his art of choice, Zhou Yu could still recognize a good weapon when he saw one and the bow was a magnificent example. It measured about four foot from tip to tip, crafted from the finest local wood, grain clear under the delicate polish.

Footsteps behind him announced the return of the metalsmith he had given his sword to about an hour ago. Zhou Yu turned.

“Your sword, Viceroy.” With a shallow bow, the metalsmith passed over the sheathed weapon.

Zhou Yu unsheathed the blade and checked it for any signs of its old chips and scratches. Running a gentle finger over the metal though, he was pleased to feel only smooth, cool steel. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, Viceroy Zhou.” The metalsmith wiped his hands on a scrap of material hanging from his belt and flicked a glance at the bow Zhou Yu had been eyeing. “You’re interested in the bow?”

Zhou Yu’s smile was small. “It’s a fine weapon.”

The older man grunted his agreement. “A master bow maker sold it to me a couple of months back, but there’s not a lot of archers in this area and none of them can pull a bow that heavy. It’s just been sitting here gathering dust.”

This perked Zhou Yu’s interest. “How heavy are we talking?”

“The master said a full draw should reach three hundred and fifty paces with accuracy,” the metalsmith replied, reaching over to remove the weapon from the wall. He passed it to Zhou Yu.

Upon closer inspection, Zhou Yu realized that the bow wasn’t entirely void of decoration. There were faint embossed curls that stood out beautifully when he turned the arch against the light. The bow was a heavy, steady weight in his hand and Zhou Yu didn't attempt a draw, recalling the last time he had tried. Instead, he raised his eyes to the metalsmith. “I’ll take it.”

“Are you sure, Viceroy?" the man asked. "I have several smaller bows just as finely made, much more suited to horseback and easier to draw.” It was clear that a man of Zhou Yu’s slight build would hardly be able to string, let alone shoot, so heavy a bow.

But Zhou Yu shook his head, passing the metalsmith a small pouch of coins with a reassuring smile. “It’s not for me.” A hint of satisfaction infused the expression. “Rest assured, he’ll put this bow to good use.”

  
 **XIII.**

Sun Ce had charged headlong into the thick of the fight once again, taking most of his generals with him.

Zhou Yu was left alone to guard the main camp with a smattering of officers.

The enemy troop movements had given him reason to suspect that an ambush might be sprung on the camp during the heat of battle, hoping to catch the Wu forces off guard. It was a hunch that quickly proved to be right as lookouts reported an unfriendly cavalry division heading their way.

The enemy rode fine steeds, making good speed directly towards the camp's main gates. Having prepared for this contingency, Zhou Yu merely gestured for the guard captains to sound the drums, which signalled for the guardsmen to form lines just behind the main gates and served to warn any nearby troops of their predicament.

Seeing the ambush stripped of surprise didn't slow the cavalry unit. They merely kicked their steeds faster and rushed to take the base by force.

In truth, Zhou Yu hadn’t expected such a large division.

They came one after another, wave after wave, but he kept his cool, analysing like quicksilver each new situation and recalculating the defenders' best chance at a counterattack. Until a flash of red caught his peripheral vision.

Zhou Yu looked up to see Taishi Ci arriving from the East with a small detachment of his force. The general gave Zhou Yu a curt nod before fixing his attention on the flank of the enemy unit. Suddenly staving off attack from both sides, the enemy cavalry were thrown into disarray.

It wasn’t the first time Zhou Yu had seen Taishi Ci fight on the battlefield, the other's strong presence having come to feel almost customary after numerous battles fought together, but even so Zhou Yu still often found himself unable to look away when Taishi Ci strode into the carnage. This moment was no different, Zhou Yu staring at the tight lines of Taishi Ci’s jaw and ripples of muscle as the man swung his long halberd effortlessly from side to side...

But without warning Taishi Ci dropped the weapon and drew his bow, aiming briefly Zhou Yu's way before letting fly.

With a jolt, Zhou Yu turned to see the arrow plunge through the throat of an enemy just behind his shoulder. Taking the due wake up call, he drew his sword and quickly dealt with the handful of other soldiers in his vicinity, admonishing himself for such an unprofessional lapse in concentration. The battlefield was no a place to lose focus. Immediate surroundings clear again, Zhou Yu turned his attention back to Taishi Ci’s position to review the situation on that side.

It wasn’t good.

Having dropped his halberd, Taishi Ci was left with just a short sword and the weapon had insufficient range to ward off all the enemies upon him.

Unable to move lest the main gates be left open, Zhou Yu could only watch once again, his fists clenched around the reins of his horse and the grip of his sword.

Despite the uselessness of the weapon in hand, Taishi Ci still managed to hold his own relatively well, parrying thrusts with admirable speed, but the numbers around him were overwhelming and a few strikes cut through his defence to clang against his sturdy armour. Twisting and lunging in his saddle, he slashed his blade across the throats of the three who had managed to land blows and turned back to the front just in time to see a sword flash straight for his unguarded side.

Instinctively raising his bow to block, Taishi Ci hesitated halfway and twisted his forearm downwards instead.

The blade bit deeply into his armguard, fresh splatters of his own blood adding to the red already decorating his sullied silver armour. With a quick jerk, Taishi Ci pushed the blade away and ran his enemy through.

Zhou Yu forced himself to remain calm and stay put, reminding himself of his duty to oversee the organization of the camp's defenders. He called orders to his men with the flow of the fight. They were stubbornly holding out, the enemy now much less spirited, but…

He glanced over at Taishi Ci once more. Alone, the man still valiantly fought to keep an entire group of enemy soldiers at bay—

The drums sounded again then, signalling the victorious return of several divisions of Sun Ce’s army from the front lines.

At the growing thunder of hundreds of hooves pounding against the earth, the remnants of the ambush party finally turned and scattered, and Zhou Yu sighed in relief as Sun Ce’s standard crest rose over the edge of the hill followed at a more sedate pace by the rest of his generals.

It was over.

For now.

  
 **XIV.**

“Viceroy, General Taishi is resting…”

Zhou Yu pushed open the wooden door to Taishi Ci’s small inner room despite the protests of the serving girl who had trailed him from the front entrance.

Taishi Ci hastily pulled on a simple robe and rose to greet his guest. “Viceroy.”

Zhou Yu deposited a small cloth package on the table before turning to face the other man, a frown marring his brow. The dark robe failed to fully conceal Taishi Ci's wounds. “I’ve already said that there’s no need to be so formal, Ziyi.”

Taishi Ci merely gave a shallow bow in response and signalled for the servant to retreat. She did so, pulling the door closed after her.

“Sit. Take off the robe.” Zhou Yu pointed imperviously at the bed upon which Taishi Ci had been settled.

The taller man seemed ready to protest, but a glance at Zhou Yu’s unyielding expression made him close his mouth again and sit obediently, shrugging the top part of his robe from his shoulders after a brief hesitation. He shifted uneasily, eyes averted.

Zhou Yu’s frown grew deeper as he finally saw for the first time the full number of scars and marks marring Taishi Ci’s skin. Many were old wounds, healed over like white stripes across warm honey, but here and there were dark patches of fresh bruising and the recently dried blood of new cuts and abrasions.

Lips pursed in a thin line, Zhou Yu turned back to where he had left his bag atop the table and undid the strings that held it closed.

A small stack of cloth and bandages sat beside small jars of ointment that mutely reflected the candlelight. Zhou Yu selected a clean cloth and one dark green bottle, turning back toward the bed.

“Gongjin…” Taishi Ci fidgeted but before he could make to stand again, Zhou Yu pressed one hand against his broad shoulder to keep him down, stern look not abating.

Having secured Taishi Ci's obedience, Zhou Yu uncorked the bottle and dipped the edge of his cloth into the ointment. “...I knew you wouldn’t have gone to a doctor,” he murmured at last into the silence, swiping the cloth over the shallower wounds on Taishi Ci’s chest and sides.

Taishi Ci's breath drew in sharp but he did not move, responding only after a moment, “There was no need. I’ve received worse.”

Zhou Yu pressed the cloth a touch harder to the deeper cut on Taishi Ci's left side, causing the man to furrow his brow against the sting of it. “That’s no excuse. These could become infected and then where would we be?” Dropping the soiled cloth onto the floor, Zhou Yu picked up a bandage. He wrapped it efficiently over the cleaned wounds and tied its ends off.

“With all respect, Gongjin, I’m not a rookie. I know perfectly well how to treat these wounds.” Taishi Ci’s voice was soft, a hint of injured pride creeping into his tone.

“If you say so.” Zhou Yu didn't bother glancing over, taking up a second cloth and selecting another bottle, slightly larger than the first and glazed a soft brown. When he opened it, the pungent smell of healing herbs filled the air.

Settling on the edge of the bed, Zhou Yu lifted Taishi Ci's wrist gently and took a careful look at the deepest and most serious of the wounds he had sustained: the gash on his right forearm. It was about eight inches long and at least half an inch deep, still bleeding sluggishly despite several hours having passed since the end of battle.

Again, Zhou Yu dipped the cloth in the green bottle first, disinfecting the wound with quick, gentle swipes. Taishi Ci stiffened but made no other complaint despite how painful it had to be.

The herbs went on top of the newly cleaned wound. Zhou Yu spread the mixture on smoothly, gently with the tips of his fingers. It would slow the bleeding enough for the wound to hopefully clot and eventually heal on its own.

Finally, he wrapped another bandage around the forearm, ensuring it was tight but still able to breathe. His work thus done, Zhou Yu set about re-corking the bottles and wrapping them back up in his cloth bag.

Silence reigned in the room until Taishi Ci broke it with a small sigh. “I’m sorry, Gongjin. I was just a bit…”

“Frustrated?” Zhou Yu suggested wryly, looking over to see the other man staring at the stark white bandage over his arm.

Hazel eyes met his own. “Yes.”

Zhou Yu offered a twitch of his left shoulder in what may have been a shrug, and picked up his small bag, intending to leave. “It’s understandable. I still have yet to thank you for that arrow. So thank you, Ziyi.”

Taishi Ci’s hand grasped his wrist carefully, stopping him, and they stared at each other for a brief moment in faintly awkward silence. Then Taishi Ci's hand tightened the slightest bit. Not enough to hurt, but enough for Zhou Yu to know it was there. “Thank you.”

Zhou Yu smiled, savouring the gentle strength of Taishi Ci's warm, callused palm around his wrist. “You’re welcome.”

  
 **XV.**

It had just been idle curiosity.

“Ziyi, why do you choose to serve Wu?”

Taishi Ci was seated on the floor to the left of Zhou Yu's table. He looked up from his book scroll on tactics, surprised at the question.

Zhou Yu leaned back in his cushioned seat and set his brush down, careful not to knock over the candle to his right.

The sun had set a while ago, bringing with it the coolness of night. Taishi Ci, as per his after dinner routine lately, had helped Zhou Yu sort through the piles of scrolls from the day's court meetings and carried the vital ones to Zhou Yu's private study.

Multiple candles lit the small room brightly and soft orange light from two oil lamps up high cast a warm glow over Taishi Ci as he slowly lowered the scroll in his hand, face thoughtful for a long while.

"Lord Sun Ce," was the answer he settled on at last.

A small frown creased Zhou Yu's brow. "Bofu?" he asked slowly, trying to understand. A sense of déjà vu dawned at the edge of his senses.

Taishi Ci nodded, face aglow with respect and admiration, and perhaps just a little hint of something Zhou Yu did not want to acknowledge. His voice was low, reverent. "Lord Sun Ce was the one who untied me, an enemy officer, trusted me with his troops and gave me the chance to prove myself. The day I swore fealty to Wu, I swore it because in my eyes Lord Sun Ce and Wu are one and the same, and I would follow him to the end."

He clasped his hands together then, in seeming nervousness, and fastidiously avoided Zhou Yu's gaze in favour of the flickering candle flames that danced in the evening breeze. His voice became so soft that Zhou Yu had to strain to hear it. "And of course..."

The candles all winked out as the wind swept into a low roar, and the crash of a door blowing open drowned out his words.

Only the two small oil lamps were left illuminating the sheets of loose parchment that danced around the room, above and around them, and the light was too weak for Zhou Yu to read Taishi Ci's lips. A small well of frustration bubbled up within him as Taishi Ci looked up with an expectant expression and they stared at each other in the half darkness.

Zhou Yu's frustration built as he realized that Taishi Ci was waiting for a reply. A reply to something Zhou Yu hadn't heard.

He watched as the hopeful light in Taishi Ci's eyes slowly dimmed until he looked away. "I'm sorry for taking up your valuable time, Viceroy."

"Ziyi..." Zhou Yu straightened, wanting to reach out a hand but not quite daring to.

Taishi Ci stood and gave a perfunctory bow before retreating from the study—and Zhou Yu's presence—as quickly as possible.

As the two lights hanging high above gradually burnt out and the shadows grew larger, Zhou Yu remained unaware of time passing. His heavy gaze never left the door, as if still seeing a broad shouldered silhouette walk out and away from him.

 _"And of course..."_

  
 **XVI.**

To say that he hadn't noticed the distance growing between them would've been a lie.

Zhou Yu missed Taishi Ci's presence. Missed the smiles, the shared camaraderie as they sat next to each other drinking wine by the gentle light of the moon.

Instead there were polite greetings, the usage of his court title instead of his style name, and averted gazes when they met in public. Zhou Yu noted each and every instance of these.

However, he would honour Taishi Ci's choice no matter how much he wanted to object.

Taishi Ci had bound himself to Wu, to Sun Ce; and he, Zhou Gongjin, had completely nothing to do with it. The unfinished sentence from that night haunted him at times but, unable to ask again, he let the question lie. Just another barrier between the two of them. And so, Zhou Yu returned the formality, keeping his distance, exchanging no words beyond greetings and treating Taishi Ci purely as a subordinate officer.

Zhou Yu wasn't the only one bothered by this. Many of the generals looked between them with strange expressions, and Sun Ce had apparently even been worried enough to ask about it: "Did you and Ziyi have a fight?"

They walked side by side, dead leaves crackling beneath their shoes.

Shaking his head, Zhou Yu turned away and refused to meet that strangely knowing look in his best friend's eyes.

Sun Ce was uncharacteristically quiet for one brief moment before opening his mouth. But his jaw clicked shut again before any words escaped, and he shook his head as well.

He settled for a gentle pat on Zhou Yu's shoulder as they reached his rooms. "You're the most intelligent man I know, Gongjin. But when it comes to him, you're as hopeless as I am with a scroll."

  
 **XIII.**

The plan for the invasion of Xuchang was one of the most well kept secrets around the Wu base.

Only a handful of trusted officers were even aware of its existence. Of course, two of that number were Zhou Yu and Sun Ce; one being the mastermind, and the other being the only reason Zhou Yu would even consider invading the Wei capital in the first place.

Sun Ce was the only one in their chaotic world, Zhou Yu believed, who could not only dream up such a far-fetched and impossible idea but also lead it to success. Zhou Yu would do all he could to support the Little Conqueror. If that meant mapping out each and every stone from their base to Xuchang, then so it would be.

Piles of scrolls littered his room. They were on the table, the floor, and even across his bed.

Most of the scrolls detailed past battles with Wei and information on the terrain around Xuchang. A few others focused on such varying subjects as weather, logistics routes and the constellations.

From intelligence reports, Zhou Yu knew that Wei was beginning preparations to march on Yuan Shao's army at Guandu. If more than three quarters of the Wei army mobilized and Wu could keep its troop movements to a minimum, Zhou Yu was positive they'd be able to take Xuchang and fortify it before Wei realized what had happened.

To that effect, he had begun moving small divisions of troops to the border on the pretense of strengthening Wu's defenses there.

It was a long and stressful process, negotiating the fine line that deployed the most men to the right locations with as little risk of rousing Wei's suspicions as possible. Zhou Yu was only now returning to his rooms for the first time in a week, his plans finally settling into place. In the morning, he would look them over for the last time and make the final changes before submitting them to Sun Ce for his official stamp.

Rubbing at eyes that felt gritty from too little sleep, and uncaring of clothes that were rumpled from being worn too long, he pushed open the door to his room only to find Sun Ce himself making adjustments to the décor.

"Bofu. What are you..." Zhou Yu hadn't finished the sentence before Sun Ce turned with a merry grin to let him see for himself: a simple longbow now decorated the wall next to his bed upon which a beautiful ink painting had previously hung.

Sun Ce obviously saw nothing wrong with barging into someone else's private quarters in the name of interior decoration. "You've been working so hard lately, I thought I'd bring you a present!"

Normally, Zhou Yu would have sighed, smiled in agreement at whatever his best friend said, and offered him some tea. But not today. Nearing both his physical and mental limits, Zhou Yu frowned and politely asked Sun Ce to come back later.

Taking the hint but still smiling brightly, Sun Ce headed out. "Rest well, Gongjin."

Zhou Yu watched the door swing shut again, and slid out of his outer robe in the blessed silence that fell. Sitting wearily on his bed, a glance of his eye caught the name engraved on the inside of the new bow's lower arch.

 _Taishi Ziyi._

Suddenly, sleep was the furthermost thing from Zhou Yu's mind.

  
 **XII.**

Who knew that something so slight as an arrow could twist things so inconceivably?

  
 **XI.**

The Little Conqueror was dead.

Slain by the arrow of an unknown enemy.

Killed on one of those solo hunting trips he had loved so much.

Knocking back another cup of wine, Zhou Yu stared at his table by the light of a solitary candle.

His best friend was dead.

He shoved the small porcelain cup to one side and picked up the bottle itself, downing the rest of its contents.

His best friend was gone.

Frustrated, Zhou Yu threw the bottle as hard as he could and it shattered loudly against the wall.

In the following silence, only the sound of his ragged breathing could be heard. Until a knock sounded at the door.

Not expecting visitors, Zhou Yu considered ignoring it in favour of his alcohol. It was likely just Lu Su or Lu Meng wanting to make sure he was alright; but in the end his innate politeness won out and he stood to open the heavy wooden door, apparently as sober as he had been hours ago.

Taishi Ci stood outside, eyes shadowed and three jars of the finest and strongest local drink in his hands. He bit his lower lip, unsure of his welcome.

Zhou Yu stared at him for a while, eyes taking in his dishevelled appearance, tightly drawn brow and despondent air. Almost against his own will, the door swung open a fraction wider and he stepped back.

Not much was said as Zhou Yu settled back into his seat and Taishi Ci took the one opposite, his eyes glancing around at the disarray the room had fallen into. Empty, discarded bottles of alcohol and balls of rough parchment littered the floor alongside the usual inks and scrolls.

Zhou Yu ignored the survey of his room and opened one of the jars Taishi Ci had brought, splashing some into two of the cleaner cups, uncaring of how the wine spilled over and onto the table.

Taishi Ci didn't seem to care either, wordlessly grabbing the cup closer to him. He downed it in one gulp and poured himself a refill.

Zhou Yu drank at a slower rate, but still had to choke back a cough at the way the liquid burned its way down his throat.

One cup.

Two cups.

Three cups.

He dropped his cup back onto the table after the fourth, ignoring the way it rolled off and smashed into shards against the floor.

Taishi Ci's head came up in surprise, his cup frozen halfway to his mouth. "Gongjin?"

It was the first time Zhou Yu had heard that name aloud from him, in that voice low and rough, in far too long. Something within him snapped.

He leaned over the table with a swiftness that belied the amount he had drunk and grabbed a fistful of Taishi Ci's robe, jerking him forward. They stared at each other for one long, uncertain moment, barely an inch between their faces, Taishi Ci unsure of what was happening and Zhou Yu himself unsure of what he wanted to do.

Then his slender fingers slid around Taishi Ci's nape, pulling him closer, slowly, fraction by fraction.

Zhou Yu's lashes fluttered closed as he touched his lips to Taishi Ci's, once, testing.

Twice, affirming.

Thrice...

Taishi Ci responded, large hand curling over Zhou Yu's shoulder, slanting his mouth and deepening their embrace.

Zhou Yu could taste the bittersweet wine on the other's lips, leading him to almost question the validity of these actions fueled by alcohol, emotions that didn't exist and a desire that wasn't for him.

But when they broke apart, both flushed from more than the drink, and Taishi Ci ran gentle fingers over his cheek and jaw with eyes impossibly soft and filled with something that Zhou Yu could almost understand, he didn't bother to think anymore.

Rounding the table on none too steady legs, blaming the instability on how much he had drunk, Zhou Yu slid one hand up to rest on Taishi Ci's broad chest. The robe under his palm was fine and thin, and Zhou Yu undid the sash holding it closed. Pulling the fabric away, he pressed his hand back over Taishi Ci's heart, enthralled by the strong, rapid beat he could feel.

"Gongjin? What are you..."

Leaning upwards, Zhou Yu's smile was light as he kissed Taishi Ci once more, the rest of the sentence lost to their mingled breath. He pulled Taishi Ci closer and leaned back against the sturdy wooden table, trusting Taishi Ci's strong arm around his waist to hold him steady and safe.

Taishi Ci said nothing more, turning his lips to Zhou Yu's sensitive nape and collar bone, nipping his way downwards. His other hand slowly unwound the complex tie in the sash of Zhou Yu's thick formal robes, and slipped in to brush over smooth skin when the sash slid to the floor in a glide of silk.

Shivering lightly at the sensation of Taishi Ci's calloused fingers against his skin, Zhou Yu turned his head to mark the junction between Taishi Ci's throat and shoulder, as if hoping the mark would prove something to him, to the both of them.

Still, even as the temperature between their bodies rose, sweat slicked skin sliding, their breath reduced to rapid pants, Zhou Yu knew that it was merely an illusion, something he wanted so desperately to be real...

But like all illusions, it would shatter.

And in the end, he'd be left with nothing but broken pieces.

  
 **X.**

He woke as soon as he felt the covers shift by his side.

They had ended up sleeping tangled with the sheets on Zhou Yu's bed, the emotional stress of the state funeral, after-effects of alcohol and sated physical exhaustion having taken their toll.

Forcing his breathing even and feigning sleep as best he could, Zhou Yu kept still as Taishi Ci carefully sat up and slid from the bed. He listened to each quiet rustle of clothing as the man dressed, his own heart hammering so loudly he thought it a wonder he wasn't caught out.

Zhou Yu waited, but for what he didn't know. He wanted, but for what he had no idea.

All that he knew for certain as he lay silently, curled in his sheets, was that he didn't want Taishi Ci to leave. But he wasn't brave enough to stop him, to reach out and take his hand the way Taishi Ci had caught Zhou Yu's own so long ago.

Feeling Taishi Ci's presence hover over him, and what might've been the ghost of a touch over his cheek, Zhou Yu slowly gathered up his courage and opened his eyes.

He turned his head the slightest bit to where Taishi Ci now stood just before the open doorway, looking back in the direction Zhou Yu lay. The moonlight highlighted his high cheekbones, fathomless eyes and an immeasurable pain etched over those features.

"I'm sorry."

Without the aid of the night's soft breeze, Zhou Yu would never have caught those whispered words and their weight of so much heartache. Suddenly, he regretted being awake, regretted opening his eyes and having heard those words.

Without them, he may have have been able to hold on to his illusions a while longer instead of seeing them blur before his eyes.

Closing his eyes once more, he reached into the space that Taishi Ci had left behind and felt the lingering warmth in the sheets dissipate as quickly as the warmth in his heart.

  
 **IX.**

Sun Quan was young and inexperienced, but steadfastly determined. It was at times like these, when Sun Quan walked towards him with quick, purposeful steps, that Zhou Yu saw flashes of his older brother in him, even if Sun Ce would never have been caught dead in the formal robes that Sun Quan now wore.

"Gongjin, can I talk to you for a moment?" His new lord's voice still held threads of a boyish tenor, slightly anxious.

Zhou Yu turned his most polite smile on the young leader, greeting him formally with a half bow. "Lord Sun Quan, can I help you with something?"

Sun Quan's smile grew a shade sadder for a moment, having lost its charming innocence of only a week ago. Behind it were hints of the wisdom and bitterness that age would now bring. "So formal..." He straightened his shoulders, trying again. "There's no need to be so formal, Gongjin. You and my brother are... were sworn brothers. That makes us brothers too, does it not?"

In reply, Zhou Yu only bowed once more, deliberately leaving the silent plea behind Sun Quan's words unanswered. The lands of Wu needed a strong leader who would rely on his own strength and wisdom over that of his advisers.

Displeased but dropping the matter with a sigh, Sun Quan turned to the topic he had hailed Zhou Yu to discuss: "Taishi Ci has requested a transfer."

Zhou Yu had to work to suppress his jolt at the name. The recent memories were too fresh, as was the wound, and brought back things he wanted desperately to forget and remember forever.

 _Hazel eyes close._

 _Sweat-damped hair._

 _Rough lips on his own and a warm, safe arm around his waist._

 _The press of skin on skin._

 _The tangled sheets and intertwined fingers._

"Gongjin?" Sun Quan's concern brought him back.

"Apologies, my lord." Zhou Yu kept his face impassive and was pleased by the level, disinterested tone of voice he managed to hold down. "Did General Taishi give a reason for this request?"

Sun Quan gave him a slightly strange look. "He said a lot. But it seems to just boil down to him wanting to be out of Wu for a while because of... my brother."

Zhou Yu's chest tightened at the words, and though he still kept a cool tone asking where Taishi Ci wished to transfer, Sun Quan's answer did not ease his inner turmoil.

It was the most distant and dangerous post in Wu, where officer mortality rates were notoriously high, and Zhou Yu knew Taishi Ci could only be thinking one thing in his request to be assigned there.

"Gongjin, what should I do?" The look on Sun Quan's face was worried and uncertain.

Zhou Yu clenched his fists as Taishi Ci's pained expression of the night before and that soft, regretful apology ghosted over his thoughts once more. He closed his eyes. "Allow it. General Taishi is an outstanding military leader. Perhaps he will be able to pacify the area."

"But..."

Zhou Yu shook his head, dark eyes bleak. "My lord, you can always recall him in a year or two. Just... give him the time he needs."

 _And the time I need..._

 _To sort out these emotions._

  
 **VIII.**

After _he_ left, Zhou Yu threw himself into his work more than ever.

But even spending every waking minute poring over scrolls and dealing with issues within the court didn't stop Zhou Yu from missing Taishi Ci.

On a whim one night, he scrawled out a small, unsigned note and rolled it into the scroll that contained the next missive for the base Taishi Ci was guarding.

He never ended up finding out if he received it.

  
 **VII.**

"Viceroy! Urgent news!" Out of breath, the officer bowed quickly by the wooden door of the study.

Zhou Yu looked up from where he was examining a local area map and accompanying scroll. He set them down and gestured the man in. "Report."

"Our intelligence reports elite Wei forces led by General Zhang Liao on the move, planning a surprise attack here." Taking advantage of the Wu map already on the desk, the officer traced the route the enemy forces were taking, leading straight to...

Zhou Yu's blood chilled. "Who's the General in charge there?" he asked, despite knowing the answer full well.

"General Taishi."

Eyeing Zhou Yu's now pallid face, the officer added, "I've already sent our fastest messengers toward the post. Hopefully we'll be able to reach them in time to at least sound a warning."

"Inform the third calvary division to prepare. We ride as soon as I inform Lord Sun Quan about these developments." Zhou Yu set his face into a grim mask, quashing his anxiety and unease as best as it could. "The main keep must not fall."

  
 **VI.**

The waning autumn leaves glowed a fierce red and gold under the bright midday sun.

Zhou Yu stared out from the small doorway, eyes directed toward the beautiful scenery worthy of a thousand poems. He saw nothing but white. Pure white.

Before him stood an officer of Taishi Ci's, one of the lucky few uninjured.

The young soldier was subdued as he bowed his head deeply. "General Taishi asked me to pass this onto you."

Expressionless, Zhou Yu took the letter with both hands. He evened his breathing and thanked the man.

Although the room was slightly musty from not having been aired out in several days, there still lingered hint of the scent that had been impressed upon Zhou Yu with the alcohol and memory of that night.

They had been too late.

Zhang Liao and his troop of over a thousand crack soldiers had struck exactly when Taishi Ci's main force had been out fighting local brigands. The Wei general had torn apart the keep's meager defenses like so much thin parchment.

Although the returning garrison had managed to drive Wei's main force back from the area, Zhang Liao himself had been another question entirely.

The general had remained alone after the retreat of his forces and challenged Taishi Ci to a duel that the latter had accepted without hesitation.

What happened next, no soldier had been able to recount for Zhou Yu exactly, but the end result was the same: despite managing to inflict enough damage upon Zhang Liao to force him into retreating with the rest of his men, General Taishi Ci had also sustained severe injuries and had not survived the night.

The young Wu soldier peeked upwards. Judging that his words would not be deemed insolence, he spoke again: "General Taishi also said that he wanted to leave you his bow, but in the end decided he couldn't part with it."

Zhou Yu's shoulders shook almost imperceptibly as he waited for the soldier to move out of sight before he shut the door to the room and leaned his back against the tough paper screen, closing his eyes.

He took another deep breath, hands as steady as he could force them to be as he slit open the envelope and withdrew Taishi Ci's letter.

There were only four characters on the single sheet, writing bold.

The first drop that darkened the edge of the paper was a surprise. It wasn't until Zhou Yu touched a hand to his cheek that he realized he couldn't stem the flow of tears.

 _Gongjin,_

 _Take care._

  
 **V.**

The sight of thousands of burning ships made a magnificent if deadly image. Even the fathomless depths of the river couldn't successfully swallow the brilliant red and orange flames that danced over its surface.

Beneath the loud crackle of the blaze and the fainter sounds of endgame skirmishes, wove a gentle, trembling melody cast from the strings of a guqin.

Zhou Yu head was bent over the instrument as he picked its strings with care, his eyes hooded. He sat in a small, open boat moored to a harbor as close to the burning flames as it was safe to be. His guards eyed the fires on the opposing bank, uneasy at their proximity. But all knew better than to interrupt their Viceroy in a moment of preoccupation.

The next notes of the qin cut through the air, a louder and harsher statement. More than one officer suppressed a wince of surprise at the hard, jerky notes, and exchanged troubled looks.

Their Viceroy's musical ability was famed throughout all three kingdoms. Rumours had passed that many a young lady, just to catch Zhou Yu's attention, would play a wrong note whilst he was within earshot.

Although...

These couple of years, Zhou Yu had ceased to touch his qin, once his most prized possession. It had lain silent in his study under a soft cloth. None had known why and none had dared ask. The same way, none knew why Zhou Yu now put his fingers back to strings that had become cloudy with dust.

The discordant, overbearing notes stopped at length, silence falling as those strings stilled under a gentle palm. Only the crackle of the slowly spreading flames remained in the air and Zhou Yu's officers shifted warily. The horses, their mounts, stamped and tossed their heads restlessly at the smell of smoke.

Zhou Yu noticed none of it, focus completely on his qin. His eyes closed briefly as he remembered the last time he had touched the instrument. In the aftermath of a different battle, in a completely different place. But the ache in his heart was still the same even if now for different reasons.

His long, slender fingers ran rapidly over strings again, plucking out a melody that reverberated around the area with the intensity of emotion behind it, seeming to dull even the fire roaring its possession over the ships across the opposite harbor.

Zhou Yu ignored it all, the encroaching flames and rising heat consuming everything else in its path; the battle and decisive victory just secured; the tears of his officers as their hearts were stirred to memories of loved ones and lives left behind.

The droplets of red that ran onto white strings from fingers that hadn't played in far too long.

There was nothing but the music and despair, the heartache and desolation each note invoked.

He played, fingers dancing, giving everything into that one piece.

 _Regret. Determination. Anguish. Resolve. Loneliness..._

As the final chord faded into nothingness, Zhou Yu finally looked up, the light of the flames now close enough to reflect in his dark eyes.

Gently, with regret, one of his men gestured at the fire closing in. "Viceroy, we must leave. It's no longer safe here."

Zhou Yu inclined his head in acknowledgment, standing and crossing from the small boat. He reached for the thick rope that kept it moored.

"Viceroy—!"

With a hard tug, the rope came undone and the boat, carried by the current, began to float toward the hungry flames awaiting it.

Zhou Yu stood on the harbor, his mount's reins taken in one hand, his other hand empty.

"Your qin..." another officer murmured softly.

Zhou Yu shook his head. The hair that swept across his cheek as he mounted his horse was a sharp contrast to the paleness of his skin. "I have no use for it anymore. Let it rest alongside the souls of our men."

As if hearing his words, the fire flared even higher than before, helping to illuminate their long path back to the main Wu camp.

The Battle of Chibi closed with an overwhelming victory for the Wu forces, but Zhou Yu had no smile to give when Sun Quan clapped him on the shoulder with a broad grin, proclaiming him a genius. Nor had he any words to say in response to Sun Shang Xiang's enthusiastic questions with regard to his strategies.

He stared the at the table that used to hold his qin and wondered why he felt so empty.

 _Ziyi..._

  
 **VI.**

The words on the scroll remained unread as he stared at the characters inscribed upon it.

Zhou Yu closed his eyes briefly, a frown etched deep into his brow, frustrated by his inability to concentrate. Coming to a sudden decision, he threw his brush down, uncaring for the ink it spattered, and pushed himself up and away from the table.

Lu Su and Lu Meng looked up from where they were bent over a diorama of the next battlefield as Zhou Yu swept out of the room without looking back, his face drawn. They exchanged a heavy glance but returned their attention to their task with purpose, pretending not to have noticed.

Lu Xun found Zhou Yu at the archery range shortly thereafter, methodically emptying a quiver of arrows into a target, seeming not to care it they hit or missed. Still, the copper tips buried themselves deep into the target's bright red center more often than not.

Lu Xun watched in rapt fascination, but Zhou Yu only smiled humorlessly as he fired his last arrow. _He_ had always been better.

"Viceroy Zhou, I didn't know you were so skilled at archery!" Taking the break as a chance to approach with a full quiver, Lu Xun's eyes were wide and inquisitive.

Zhou Yu reached for the arrows but stopped short, freezing in place as he remembered another time, another place, _him_ smiling his thanks and...

"Viceroy?"

The voice was too high, too soft, too gentle; the shadow in front of him too small and delicate. He wasn't _him_. No one could be. He was gone.

Clenching his jaw and curling his fist tightly around that bow that wasn't his own but he'd learnt to pull anyway, Zhou Yu turned away for a moment and tried to reclaim his composure. His hair swept in front of his face, concealing his expression as he ducked to retrieve for another arrow. "Lu Xun, is there something I can help you with?"

Though puzzled by his behaviour, the young strategist's interest lay more in the weapon clenched in Zhou Yu's hand, and his voice was cheery, upbeat as Zhou Yu drew another arrow against the string's firm tension. "I've never seen you at the archery fields before, Viceroy. And your bow, it's a magnificent weapon! Where did you get it made? General Gan Ning would be impressed!"

Zhou Yu faltered suddenly. His arrow completely missed its target, shooting wide, and his bow slid through slack fingers, upsetting the quiver of arrows by his feet. Zhou Yu cursed softly as they scattered, and scrabbled to resecure his grip on the weapon.

"Viceroy?" Lu Xun's voice dimmed, anxious at the rarity of seeing a superior officer so ill at ease.

Myriad emotions swam in Zhou Yu's dark eyes as he kept a long silence, gently stroking the arch of the bow in his hand. "This belonged to... a friend," he said at last.

The deep sorrow told Lu Xun all he needed to know, his own expression becoming much more solemn. "I'm sorry."

Zhou Yu shook his head, ponytail swaying gently, and bent down to pick up one of the arrows lying in the dirt at his feet. "No. Don't be..."

He drew the bow again, the bolt glinting under the glittering midday sun as he held it steady against the string...

 _“I am Taishi Ci of Donglai. Remember my name!”_

 _“I will never misplace your trust.”_

 _“You should take better care of yourself, Gongjin,”_

 _“Thank you.”_

 _Gongjin. Take care._

This time the arrow flew true, hitting dead center. Lips quirked up slightly in remembrance, Zhou Yu lifted his head, embracing the warmth of the sun to try to replace the missing warmth in his heart. "No. Don't be sorry."

" _And, of course..._ "

As he turned back to face Lu Xun, the smile on Zhou Yu's face was serene and slightly surreal. "It was glorious."

  
 **III.**

There was so much to do, yet so little time...

Zhou Yu tried to muffle his cough in his sleeve, but still felt Lu Su's eyes on him, worried, uneasy.

Ignoring that gaze, he sifted through the pile of reports spread across his bed, trying to locate the one he needed. He ignored too the stinging pain from his injured shoulder and side, reminders of the hard fought battle at Jiangling.

A hand held a scroll out to him. A quick glance at the small words inscribed on the thick ribbon wound around it showed that it was indeed the one he had been looking for. Zhou Yu smiled lightly, nodding his thanks and reached out; however, the hand would not let go. With a small frown, Zhou Yu looked up to see Lu Su's features creased in worry. "Gongjin, you must rest. The doctor gave strict orders for you not to overexert yourself."

With a gentle tug, Zhou Yu took the scroll, but was unable to continue meeting the eyes of his longtime friend and ally. Instead, he gestured at where he sat in his bed, a cloak around his shoulders. "Don't be silly, Zijing. How can I overexert myself while confined to my room and you've taken over my duties? Besides, I'm fine. It's just the flu."

Lu Su didn't call him on that lie. Nor did he mention the dark red flecks slowly staining the material of Zhou Yu's sleeve. Instead, he turned away, collecting the unneeded scrolls and stepping out of the room.

As soon as Lu Su left, Zhou Yu let his half smile fall along with the scroll in his hand.

His fingers rubbed absently over blood at the edge of his sleeve as his gaze, the way it was wont lately, drew to the bow that hung on the wall beside his bed. Its warm brown grain stood out against his stark, white painted walls.

Zhou Yu closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the cushions. His hands clenched around silk sheets.

 _Just a little longer_.

  
 **II.**

The dawn brought with it the light of a new day.

Soft rays of red and gold slowly crept throughout the lands of Wu, casting a glow over everything in its wake.

It gave a shimmering brilliance to the imperial castle, highlighting the fierce tigers that prowled across the smooth marble of the Lord of Wu's throne.

It brushed the forest leaves, embossing them with bronze highlights. It cast patterns of shadow into the clear as glass waters of the river that ran through it, swift and strong.

It touched the blood red hangings coated with a thin layer of dust in a now disused room, caressing the painted stone walls, highlighting the outlines of a bow that once hung there.

It warmed the sandstone carved with a well loved and well known name, sinking its rays into the newly turned ground before it.

A whisper of the wind carried upon it what might've been a gentle ripple of notes from a guqin, but there was no one here to hear it.

In the fifteenth year of Jianan, Zhou Yu died.

  
 **I.**

 _"And, of course... I want to stay by your side."_

  
 **N.**

Zhou Yu had always been a vivid dreamer. When he was younger, he had often jokingly blamed Sun Ce for invoking his imagination and infecting him with all those wild thoughts.

After everyone left though, he'd been often grateful for those dreams, now memories of his past more often than not. They gave him back times and periods of happiness that he missed desperately.

However, there had always been one dream he treasured beyond the others. In return, it was his clearest memory.

Standing with Taishi Ci on an archery range, one of those days. When or which range exactly he couldn't quite recall, but it didn’t really matter. Not anymore.

He remembered the soft sunlight warming them both, the rustling leaves blown together by the whispering breeze.

He remembered Taishi Ci’s smile, the soft one that lit up his hazel eyes, and the gentle brush of warm fingers against Zhou Yu's own.

“I’m glad I met you.”


End file.
